Dear TSwift,

“Love is so short, forgetting is so long.” -Neruda

I listened to your new CD, Red, over Christmas. My best friend and I were heading back to Minneapolis after experiencing the Midwest winter. Car packed and we were ready to hit the road. Of course, a trip with two awesome, 20-something girls would not be complete without the sweet love ballads and angry break-up songs off your albums. We entered Minnesota singing at the top of our lungs, We are never, ever ever, ever, ever getting back together. The flat plains and drudgery of the gray winter air heightened my awareness of my slowly growing vigor and endearment to your lyrics.

There has always been something about your music that compels me to sing your songs with reckless abandonment. It was half way through one of the songs, that it hit me. Your emotions of anger, frustration, pain and sadness resignate because those feelings are so real to all of us. No matter how much we all just wish these “negative” emotions would just go away, and come another day, to another person. Yet, we have to face the pain. It is a dangerous place to love another human being in this world. To know that one day that love could die faster than it started. Yet we all hope to fall in love and grow old with someone who loves us despite our flaws.

The truth, that I think we all know, is that love was never meant to fail or be so short. It was designed to last forever. True love “shines golden like starlight and does not fade or spontaneously combust.” I think that’s why marriage is still idolized by little girls dreaming of a prince to sweep them off their feet. It is why I think weddings are dramatized and taken over the top. It’s the reason Pinterest boards are filled with gowns, flowers, cakes and rings. It’s the most sung about topic and it is the influence of many great pieces of art. We all hope in a love that takes away all of our fears and lasts through the fieriest storms of life.

Yet something went terribly wrong and now we see but a poor reflection of this love in the world around us. And let’s be honest, some of these reflections are a better picture of this true love than others. It is the reason most of us watch the Bachelor every Monday night and get frustrated that Sean cannot see the girls for who they really are. We are all cheering for him to live happily ever after and at the same time everything inside of us is stilling telling us that a man openly dating 25 other women at the same time is not right.

More often than not we all have had a relationship or two that fizzles out and then we spend so long trying to forget it ever happened. The sad reality is that often we have an elephant’s memory (supposedly elephants never forget) and we can’t seem to get our failed attempts off our mind. How is that we can hold onto these memories so tightly, yet I can’t remember where I put my keys a few hours ago or the answers to the test I stayed up all night studying for?

I think something deep down inside of us longs for that happy ending and that’s why it is so hard to let go of the memories of failed attempts. We all want to believe that love conquers all. It’s why chick flicks make so much money and we all keep coming back for more, even though we know the plot of the story long before entering the movie theater. We all want a love that is patient and kind. We hope that it would not be self-seeking and would not keep a record of right and wrong but none of us know what that looks like because we believe that it exists exclusively for a romantic relationship. None of our other relationships are required to demonstrate this kind of love, but we are expected to understand how it works once we get married or date.

The temptation is not jumping in head first without looking. We find it difficult because the rush of love makes us feel so alive. We often believe that it will fulfill some desire within ourselves. It will complete us. Maybe that’s why it can’t sustain itself? Maybe we are expecting it to fulfill something it was never designed to fulfill.

At it’s worst, love leaves us empty and searching for something far more. It makes us crazy and addicted to it’s illusion. At it’s best, the promise of romance is a place of hope for us all. It reminds us of the beauty and mystery of the world. It points each of us to something greater, something outside of ourselves.

I hope that someday you produce a CD called Gold. I am cheering for you and hope that you find true love someday.

Sincerely,

                      Cassie

(Inspired by the frustrated love of Taylor Swift, a group of junior highers and a youth group sermon series)